


When Fighting an Amorous Squid a Taser is not the Appropriate Weapon

by Who_First



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Other, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-31
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-28 15:00:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/309111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Who_First/pseuds/Who_First
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tentacles and Tim disagree</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Heartslogos](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Heartslogos).



> Non explicit sex, more implied than anything else, but warnings there, once again for Heartslogos on Tumblr cause she asks :)

Fuck protocol there was a squid feeling him up.

How did Tim get into these situations?

~~~

“Hood!” Protocol kept Tim from screaming ‘Jason’. Or anything else, like ‘you bastard if you don’t answer me you can go to Dick for sex’, that could theoretically give away Jason’s identity. That was hard to remember at the moment.

Tim glanced around the flooded room, he thought it could be a broken aquarium, but bad guy had been with Jason when the floor swallowed Tim. So he was probably incapable of answering anything now. There was a lot of water, deep water, and broken metal walkways far above him and some just beneath the water; like the one he was standing on that still had him up to his waist in water.

“Yo! Baby Bird!”

Tim looked up, noticing a control booth for the first time behind thick looking glass, where Jason was waving happily with one hand.

“There you are, Babe.” Jason’s smoker voice was coming out through speakers, also that Tim hadn’t noticed. “How the fuck you get in there?”

“There was a trap door and it came out here.” _You damn bastard, see if you ever have sex again,_ was implied but not spoken. He waved a hand behind him where the panel had opened up just above the water level.

“Huh.” Jason sounded…

“What?” Tim stared at Jason in dawning apprehension. “What is it?”

“Fuck, probably nothing Baby,” Tim could see Jason squinting down at something in the room. “But you should get outa there.”

“Is there a door in there?” Tim asked carefully moving just yet might not be the best idea. He squinted suspiciously at the water. It might just be him but the ripples did seem to be moving correctly.

“Yeah. Fuckers booby-trapped.” Jason looked almost amused. “Nutso must have something worth protecting in there… or was it just you Baby Bird?”

“Shut up and _help_.” Tim rolled his eyes and started moving slowly forwards feeling with his feet in case the submerged metal ended. “Did you get anything from him?”

“Yep. Brass knuckles hurt like a blue balling bitch.” Jason was grinning now. He could probably see and feel Tim’s sour look.

“He didn’t say anything?” _Bastard, bastard, bastard._ Tim would not be sucked into another bantering match, not when he needed to get out of the creepy tank.

“Usually fucking plans, take over the world, control sea life, yada fucking yada.”

“Sea life?” Tim froze and looked down at the still water. Something just touched him.

“Yeah, fucking sea life. Why the fuck else would he be out here?”

Here being an abandoned and converted oil rig. _And oh holy fuck!_

“Jason. There’s something in the water.” Tim should not sound that calm, no matter who taught him or how well he could hide emotions, when something was wrapping around his ankle.

“Probably a fish. Stop fucking around and get over here. Want to see if this door is rigged on your side to.”

“Jason that’s not a fish.” The touch vanished and Tin started moving faster to the control room and Jason.  “Shoot through the glass.”

“Stop being a hatchling. Sides’ looks like bullet proof glass.” Jason did look somewhat concerned through the admittedly distorted glass.

“Jay!”

The touch returned, yanking Tim off his mini cat-walk, and into the water. Tim was struggling as he was dragged down, the touch circling up his leg and around his chest, and everything was dark and murky, and he couldn’t _see-_

Eyes! Great huge glowing eyes!

And Tim was being lifted out of the water, _tentacles!!!,_ gasping for air and all too aware of the tentacles reaching places no tentacles should reach.

“Holy fucking shit.”

 _Oh sure now he was taking him seriously._

“Ja-“

 _There was a fucking TENTACLE in his MOUTH!_

Which led to biting, and very nasty tasting blood spilling out of his mouth around the churning tentacle. But at least he could breathe again.

“Jason! Get me out of here!” Fuck protocol there was a squid feeling him up. 

“Taser it!”

“I can’t Taser it, _idiot_!” Tim really wished he could get Jason soaking wet and Taser him just so he would understand what a horrible idea that was.

There was the sound of ripping, which was the most traumatizing sound now even more than the Joker’s laugh, and Tim could feel a tentacle squirming against skin. Into his _pants_.

“Fucking fuckity fuck.” Jason was breathing over the loudspeakers. “Stab the fucker!”

 _With what fucking knife?! How was he supposed to get to a knife with tentacles holding all his limbs and-_ oh fuck no.

Tim was keeping his eyes close and biting everything that came near his face and things, touching things, melded together, and there were sounds of breaking- But oh fuck it didn’t matter because there was a thing squirming in his ass and only Jason should ever get to be there.

“Tim!”

Tim had the split second to realize, _gunfire,_ and then he was dropping back into the water and the cold felt so nice against his skin. But arms were pulling him back up, out of the water, and _god damn it no,_ he did not want to see the owner of those arms right now.

“Tim? Baby Bird?” Very gentle hands, not soft with the heavy leather coverings on Jason’s arms, patted t Tim’s face while still pulling him away.

Then Jason pulled Tim closer against his chest and was dropping gentle kisses against his wet face.

Okay.

Jason was okay, better than a squid.

“Open your eyes, Baby Bird. That fucker got more holes than that nasty cheese Alfred likes.”

“Swiss cheese.” Tim half muttered as he opened sticky eyes to hold onto Jason’s back as he climbed up into the control booth. What was left of the control booth. There seemed to be a tentacle lying through half of it.

“So much for bullet proof glass.” Tim muttered into Jason’s leather jacket.

“Hell yeah,” Jason laughed. “You’re gonna be fine, Baby Bird. You want I can bring some tentacle home and we can eat raw fish you like.”

“Sushi.”

“Yeah, squid sushi. Just for you.” Jason pulled one of Tim’s hands forwards and kissed the knuckles. “You can have some raw and I’ll grill up the rest.”


	2. A Different Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ex-orcist on Tumblr asked for an alternative ending and here's two short drabbles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for Crack, two short drabbles

Pairings: Wishful Squid/Tim and Jason/Tim

Warnings: Written from Tim’s and the Squid’s point of view…

 **Wishful Thinking**

It couldn’t understand what the odd two legged creatures were saying. K’fejlax was proud that it knew the two legged creatures were indeed communicating. It was all rather confusing. It remembered being bigger, big enough to easily wrap a single tentacle around the Pretty sweet two legged creature, it remembered being old enough to have a gender. And being fed. Good food.

Now it was tiny, barely bigger than a c’hjon, and the Pretty sweet creature was being tortured.

Obviously it was torture K’fejlax decided. The bigger mean one with the painful touches, nasty vicious thing that took away the poor sweet creature, was holding the littler Pretty one against the hard thing and there were screams!

The poor Pretty two legged was obviously trying to get away, _escape pretty escape!,_ whatK’fejlaxwouldn’t give to be real sized again and teach the evil nasty one how to take care of the Pretty.

Nothing so sweet and innocent should have to suffer being with a creature that had only _two_ feelers. How would the Pretty being taken care of then?

But oh it would not be so small for long, Evil One. K’fejlax would grow stronger and protect the Pretty from the Evil Ones’ wrath and torture. And one day it would crawl out of the clear prison and show how the Pretty should be treated!

~~~

“It’s looking at me Jason.” Tim sat very carefully by the bed, _ignore Jason and his teeth_ , all eyes on the miniature squid in the fishbowl, how Jason had managed to find a shrink ray and use it on the Squid without hitting Tim, he had no clue. Everything passed by way to quickly the painful embarrassing parts as well as the, _omg don’t admit it ever,_ joyful parts.

“Of course it’s looking at you, Babe. Fucking thing knows who the hottest guy, besides me, that’s in the room.” Jason was half grinning as he chewed on Tim’s neck.

“We should’ve have made sushi.” Tim muttered looking away from eyes they most definitely following him no matter how paranoid that sounded, Jason.

 

Written from Jason's pov

 **Squid? What Squid?**

Jason was grinning and holding a pair of Tim’s underwear over the glass fish, sorry fucking boyfriend raping nastiness, and watch as tentacles waved wildly trying to grab the boxers.

Cause yeah. Tim was totally a boxers kinda a guy. Heh, heh, heh. Fun times.

Either way the pervert tentacle beast was going nuts.

“What are you doing.” Jason grinned wider at the way Tim asked the question behind him. The sort of ‘please tell me you are not using my underwear to play with the squid’… in which case Jason would have to disappoint him.

“Playing with Handsy.”

There was a very long silence in which Handsy The Tentacle Squid Thing Monster managed to grab a low hanging bit.

“Handsy?” Tim sounded colder than Mr. Freeze, Jason was almost impressed.

“Yeah, fucking thing likes touching you so much.” Jason half turned to grin at him, which of course was when Handsy got a tighter grip and yanked.

Jason watched in surprised and freezing silence as the boxers sank to the bottom of the clear squid bowl underneath a very happy looking Handsy. It’s skin was turning orange… which Jason thought might have been the color of the tentacles when they and Tim were. Ahem. Jason’s inner Alfred was glaring at him.

“Jason…” Jason looked up at Tim, not at all ready for the cold glare his boyfriend was trying to send through his skull, and half grinned.

“I never want to see you or the squid with my underwear again.”

“Ah come on Baby Bird.”

“Next time I do? You can go sleep with Dick and the Squid can try swimming in boiling water.”


End file.
